Wednesday, 21 November 2012

It Makes Me Sad, Not Mad

I worked retail for a while as a sales associate.  This experience has really opened my eyes to a side of humanity I wish I had never seen.  It's truly amazing how rude people can be, how nasty they can be, and how easily they can steal something without batting an eye.  It's a side of humanity that really makes me sad and wonder why.

What brings people to be rude to others?  Why do some people believe they have to be pricks in order to get what they want?  It's true.  Some people will bitch and complain and ask for the manager in order to get a discount.  Some people feel they should get a discount while everyone else pays full price.  It's not fair and they don't care.  All that matters is they keep more money in their pockets.  Other people don't count.

There are people out there who will treat the sales people badly because they know they can get away with it.  Sales people aren't allowed to fight back.  It will get them a warning and possibly cost them their job.  Unfortunately, they have to put up with it, and the perpetrators don't care.

Then there are rude drivers, people who bud in line, contractors who rip people off and rapists who go after their next victim.  All of these things make me sad, not mad.  There's no point in being angry about it because it doesn't solve anything, but I can't help but be sad about the amount of uncaring in this world.  And it will continue until people finally realize we are all brothers and sisters on this planet.  We are ALL ONE!  The apparent separation is just an illusion, and as long as we see each other as separate from one another, this will continue to be a dog-eat-dog world.

I know that since the Earth gave birth to all of us, we just have to take the good with the bad.  For whatever reason, there are both good and bad people, and everyone in between.  It's a fact of life and we have to accept it.  However, it doesn't mean we shouldn't have opinions or feelings towards it.  Some people will be angry, others will fight back, and some will be sad.  It really does make me sad, and I suppose part of it is because I don't fully understand it.  You see, I'm not capable of intentionally hurting others when they've done nothing to me, especially complete strangers.  So when I see it happen, I'm kind of shocked and bewildered.  I just don't get it, just like I don't understand why anyone would enjoy swimming in cold water in snowy weather.  I think they call that the Polar Bear Club, no?  Anyway, I don't understand it, and I suppose it's this lack of comprehension that gets me down the most.

I just think it's so EASY to treat each other like brothers and sisters, and it takes a WHOLE LOT of effort to do the opposite.  I just see it as a no-brainer to choose nice over rude.

So will we ever change?  Will this go on for as long as there is life on Earth?  Who knows?  All I know is the rudeness only creates conflict and opposes our apparent desire to have peace on Earth.

So long for now.

Sunday, 19 August 2012

Why Are We So Important?

If an asteroid were to collide with the Earth and wipe out the entire human race... would it matter?  Does it really matter if we're extinct?  If it does matter, who made us that important?  In relation to the ENTIRE UNIVERSE, we are less than a drop of water in the ocean.  That's how insignificant we are.

There was a time when humans didn't exist, like before the Earth was formed.  We didn't exist then and we probably won't exist forever, but for some reason, this bothers people.  It's as if we have rights!  Now you're probably shaking your head thinking, "of course we have rights stupid".  Says you!  Who gave us the God-damned right to live, be happy, be free and enjoy life?  These are all things that might happen within a lifetime, and not for everyone.  Billions of people have come and gone through this planet without experiencing things like happiness and good health.  Human rights are circumstantial, not a given.

You might say that you have the right to have nice things like a mansion, a Ferrari, a beautiful wife and kids, and millions of dollars in the bank.  What if you had all of that and it was taken away from you in one day?  Where are your rights then?  Where did your rights go?  Are you going to fight to get it all back because you DESERVE it?  Who the hell are YOU???  Who made YOU so important?

When I die, the world will go on and nothing will change.  There are probably only a handful of people living today whose death will actually make a difference in the lives of millions of people.  Most of us don't matter because we ARE insignificant.  There is nothing special about us.  We are just here by chance.  The universe created the perfect conditions for life to prosper on this Earth, and so we're here to experience life.  Does that mean we have rights?  I don't think so.  You can certainly do your best to get the most out of life, but if it doesn't work out for you, well it's just too damn bad.  I'm fairly certain your birth certificate doesn't contain a clause that states that you MUST get everything you want in life.  You aren't important and you don't have to have everything you want.

And as usual, this post is going to piss off a lot of people, and if I actually cared, I wouldn't have posted it.  And as I've always said, if I piss you off, it's your own damn problem.  You get to have your opinion and I get to have mine.  You are powerless to change that.  The only power you do have in this life is how you decide to react to your experiences.



Saturday, 28 July 2012

London 2012 Olympic Cauldron

I just want to say one thing to all the people out there who are complaining that they can't see the olympic cauldron in London except on a TV screen... be happy that you can see it on TV.  There are millions of people on this Earth who don't even have a TV to watch the olympics on.  Just be happy that you aren't in their shoes.

Unfortunately we live in a society where we pretty much have access to almost anything we could want.  So people complain when one thing is out of reach.  Too bad!!!  Deal with it.  Oh, and please donate some of that money you were going to spend on lottery tickets to someone who really needs it.



Monday, 2 July 2012

Ireland, The Ultimate Soccer Fans

Like most second generation italians, I become a soccer fan every two years during the Euro Cup and World Cup tournaments.  Of course there can only be one winner.  So the chances of your country winning in the final are actually quite slim when you consider how many teams compete in these games.  On top of that, losing just one game can mean elimination from the tournament.  In a way, it's not really the best way to decide the winner, but it has been done this way for decades and it's just part of the game.

Anyway, to the point.  I think it's sad when an entire nation goes into depression mode when their team loses.  At the end of the day, it's just a game, albeit a spectacular one.  It's fun to watch and it's fun to watch your team win win win.  But it's hard to win every game, and if it happens, it happens.  Take a look at Germany in this Euro 2012 competition.  They won EVERY single game in the competition until they played against Italy.  Germany was considered to be the better team and the favorite to win.  However, Italy won, and the looks on the german fan's faces told the whole story.  They were let down and they were saddened by the loss.

Now believe me, I understand the mentality because I used to be the same way.  But you have to remember that it's just a game.  It's silly to invest so much emotion into it because no matter how talented your team is, they can lose.  It only takes a bad day and they're toast.

Now take the Irish fans.  They are a solid example of what I believe to be the ultimate fans.  I watched one of their games in this year's tournament (though I don't remember which one) and I was surprised by how much the fans cheered on their team even in the face of loss and elimination.  The Irish fans never let up for a moment.  Even after the game was over, they still cheered on their team.  I think they have the best (and probably the healthiest) sports mentality.  No they have nothing to celebrate, but they had fun watching their country playing against other countries, and they'll drink to that.

Some might argue that the irish are pretty well aware of the fact that their chances of getting past the group stage are slim to none, so why get upset over a loss that was pretty well expected?  Why not just celebrate the fact that they're in the competition at all?  Well it's not a bad argument, but as long as your team is in the competition, there is always a hint of hope that something magical might happen, and I think it's that hope that lets people down when their side loses.  I also think it's healthier to instead enjoy your team's performance no matter what happens.  No expectations equal no let downs, and at the end of the day, it's just a game and only one team can win.

Take a look at Italy.  The italian squad beat Germany which I'm sure was a terrible let down for the german fans.  I don't think many people expected the italians to reign victorious in that game.  And because of that win, I'm also sure that the italians began thinking that they had a shot at winning the cup.  If they could beat Germany, why not Spain?  Well they didn't play anywhere near the level they played against Germany when they played against Spain.  In fact, the spanish side ruled the game from start to finish and they won 4-0, a pretty decisive win.  I would also imagine that because of that loss, many italians were let down.  I even thought they had a shot at the title, and maybe they did.  However, they either had a really bad day, and/or the spanish were really that much better.  I personally feel that Spain performed better throughout the tournament and really did deserve to win the cup.

Having said that, what if Italy had won the cup?  Would Italy have been the better team?  Italy could have had lots of luck and many lucky breaks and Spain could have had none.  Sometimes it happens that way and the "better" team goes home empty handed.  And sure I would have been happy for the italian team had they won the final, but deep down I also would have known that the result did not reflect reality.  It's just like the penalty kicks between Italy and England.  I am convinced that Italy played better than England, but no one could score in 120 minutes of play, so they had to decide the game in a shoot out.  Now most fans are well aware of the fact that penalty kicks are mostly luck, and in this particular shootout, Italy won and kicked England out of the competition.  But it could have been England to win the shoot out (and they almost did) and the result would not have reflected who the better team was.  So why get upset over it?  At the end of the day, it's just a game where anything can happen and even the best teams get sent home.  Isn't it better to just enjoy the games and cheer on your team no matter what happens?

Anyway, what I thought was going to be a short post turned out to be a chapter.  Sorry about that, and kudos to the irish fans for having the right attitude towards what really is just a game.


Wednesday, 9 May 2012

The Survival Instinct

There is something that gnaws at me on an almost daily basis.  I'm trying to figure out the answer to a very important question in my life.  Do we exist after death?  Is there life, in some way shape or form, after death.  I believe there is, but I have no proof of it.  And even though I believe in life after death, the fact that I haven't experienced it (or at least I think I haven't) always plants a seed of doubt in my mind.  Well I can't prove that there is NO life after death, but I can explain why I think there is.

First of all, I should start by saying that biologists, scientists and physicists all pretty much share the belief that every living being on this planet is solely biological in nature.  In other words, we are just flesh and bones, we live, we die, and that's it.  And who can blame them?  They've observed that the heart pumps blood through our bodies, and that blood carries oxygen to our brains and that it's the brain that gives us consciousness.  Of course we are also very intelligent so we are highly evolved animals.  Well Mr. Scientist is right but he's missing a very important part of the biological equation.

You have to understand that scientific minds base their theories on observed "facts" through experimentation and all that other good stuff that happens in "controlled" environments.  What they fail to understand is that our human lives are anything but controlled.  We are so complex that you can't always predict what we're going to do next.  You can say that we have a tendency to do this or that but only to a certain degree.  I don't think you can ever be one hundred percent sure of what we'll do in any given situation.  We aren't plants and we aren't cows.  We're human and we're just a little bit different.

So how are we different?

Well the plant kingdom is pretty predictable.  Plants and trees live off the soil, they usually like the sun and they usually like the rain just as much.  They thrive in the summer and go dormant (or die) in the winter.  Folks, those are plants.

Animals on the other hand are a bit more complex.  Some like warm weather, some like cold weather, and some just like to be in water all the time.  However, I would say that most animals (maybe all animals) share one common trait.  They all have a survival instinct.  Just take the juicy gazelle for instance who runs for its life to avoid being eaten by the cheetah who is dying for some food.  That gazelle knows what will happen if the cheetah catches up.  It knows the cheetah isn't playing games.  This is life and death, and the gazelle will do what it takes to survive.

What if the cheetah was after a baby gazelle?  Would the mother defend the baby and risk being eaten to ensure the baby's survival?  It's highly unlikely.  Have you ever seen a herd of gazelles run while one of them just stands there to sacrifice itself for the others?  It doesn't happen.  The gazelle doesn't think, "I'm going to give up my life so that the others may live".

Now, as humans, we also have this survival instinct.  However, we also seem to have an override function that allows us to bypass the survival mode for a higher cause.  I have a three year old daughter, and I can assure you that I would give up my life for her in a heartbeat.  I'm also putting money aside for her every month so that she can have a good education some day.  Sure I could use that money to give myself a bigger nest egg for my retirement, but I think her happiness is more important than my retirement.  It's a sacrifice that I'm making so that she won't have tens of thousands of dollars in student loan debt when she finishes her schooling.  So what happened to my survival instinct?  Why am I not totally selfish?  And am I the only one like this?

People sacrifice their lives and happiness every day for a higher cause.  They do it for love, they do it to give to others, and they do it because they feel it's the right thing to do.

Our "altered" survival instinct is what makes us human.  I think it's both beautiful and poetic that we sacrifice ourselves to give to others.  I would bet the scientist would say that intelligence cultivates stupidity, and that's why we behave this way.  The scientist needs an explanation for everything and needs to see proof for everything.  The scientific mind doesn't understand the human heart.  So the scientist is forever searching and never finding the truth.

My point is simply this.  Based on our behavior, we cannot only be biological beings.  There has to be more to us than what can be observed under a microscope.  Biological beings don't sacrifice their lives.  Biological beings are machines that are programmed to do just one thing; survive!  But I don't think animals are purely biological either.  Just look at the affection that a pet has for its owner.  A machine doesn't do that.  A programmed creature doesn't do that.

You know, sometimes I think back to my twenties and I wish I could go back in time and re-live my clubbing days.  It was fun to go out, get drunk, dance, party and have fun.  But would I give up my family to re-live that life?  Not a chance!  The partying is more fun and entertaining, and yet I choose the family life.  What is it that makes me do that?  When my wife and I found out she was pregnant, we could have aborted the pregnancy and partied every weekend, but we chose to raise a child instead.  Why would anyone do that?  What is the gain?  Some would say it's in our nature, but it seems to go against our constant need for entertainment.

Here are a couple of questions for you.  Why would a police officer or fire fighter risk his or her life on a daily basis when he or she can have a safe job where there is little chance of death or injury?  Why would an ordinary citizen join the military and risk dying in a war?  Do these sound like the actions of biological creatures?  They sound like selfless acts to me.  These people put other people's lives ahead of theirs, but why?  The big question is, can a scientist explain this type of behavior, or would he choose to ignore it?

My only conclusion is there is more to us, and possibly all living things, than meets the eye.  I don't feel like a biological creature who's only desire is to survive and have fun.  I have many desires and half of them aren't even selfish.  What I don't have is answers, and I would truly like to know what we really are.

To those of you who feel inclined to comment on this post, please feel free to do so.  I really would like to read your thoughts and views on this subject.  Even if you disagree entirely with what I've said, I would still like to know what you think.

Tony D.

Friday, 27 April 2012

How To Get Rich

Who doesn't want to be rich?  Most people do and that's why the lotteries and Vegas have always done so well, and they probably always will.  If you want to be wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, read on.  I have what might be a secret to you.
What I'm about to share with you isn't the only way to get rich.  It's not like you have to do this to get rich.  It's only one of the many possible ways to become wealthy, but it works every time.  I have to warn you though that it isn't an easy road, and as time goes by, it gets more and more difficult to do it this way.

To get rich, you have to give the people what they want.  So what do people want?  Look around you.  What do you see people doing?  When I look around, I see people playing with their cell phones, tweeting, facebooking, playing video games, watching reality tv, eating out, spending time with fun people, riding roller coasters and driving great cars.  Next question... what do all these things have in common?


cell phones = entertaining
tweeting = entertaining
facebooking = entertaining
video games = entertaining
reality tv = entertaining
eating out = entertaining
fun people = entertaining (these people are getting used by the way)
roller coasters = entertaining
cars = entertaining

Ta da!!!  All you have to do is entertain people.  Mark my words.  Find the next great thing that will entertain the masses and you will become a millionaire overnight.  People LOVE to be entertained.  That's really all they want.  Actions speak louder than words.  It doesn't take a genius to figure out that people just want to be entertained.

So why do they want to be entertained?  Maybe it's an escape from reality.  Maybe we're all petulent children.  Maybe we never really grew up.  I'm really not sure there is only one reason.  I suppose you could say it's natural to just wanna have fun, and that's fine.  I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I do think we're capable of being better than that.  It's almost as if entertainment has taken top priority in our lives.  Sure we go to work, but only because we have to (most of us) and not becauase we want to (some of us).

I'm just of the opinion that if we put HALF the energy we put into entertainment, and instead put it towards improving our world in some way shape or form, that this world would be a utopia.  I'm serious, but will it ever happen?  It's highly unlikely, and that's good news for you because it gives you endless opportunities to rape people's wallets while giving them what they want the most.

So I'll give you a challenge that's really not too difficult.  Take half the time you would normally spend on entertainment (facebook alone should give you half an hour a day) and redirect that energy into discovering yet another way to entertain people.  It's going to require a little bit of creativity and perhaps even some research, but it can be done.  Then some day, if you're lucky, you might just hit the jackpot and figure it out.  Someone is going to invent it, so why shouldn't it be you?

Of course this isn't a sure-fire way to get rich, but you'll increase your chances a hundred-fold if you try.  And that's all you can do really.  There are no guarantees in life and there is no magic formula that will work for everyone.  All you can do is give it your best shot and hope for the best.  Afterall, everything you try in life is a risk, and until you try, you'll never know what might come out of your efforts.

Tony D.

Sunday, 15 April 2012

My First Blog

Well here goes nothing.  My name is Tony DiBella and this is my first blog.  I named this blog Socially Unacceptable and Lovin It because that's what I am.  I don't see things the way most others do and I guess you could say my view of the world is sort of unique.  I think we all see things differently but I guess I'm a touch radical in my views and opinions.

So what does that mean?  Am I right and everyone else is wrong?  Not at all.  I'm just different, that's all.

I will make you a promise.  If you decide to follow my blog, there will come a day when I will offend you.  Actually I don't have that power.  Only you do.  I don't have any power over you whatsoever.  So any feelings or reactions you have to what I say are YOUR responsibility, not mine.  I'm not God so I can't make you feel anything.  You and you alone are the master of your feelings.

I created this blog months ago but I decided to start it today because I've been waiting for my two books to be published.  My first book is entitled Tell The Truth, and my second, 50 Reasons To Not Suffer.  Having said that, I must also add that this blog isn't going to be about the books.  Instead it's going to be an extension of them.  I'm going to dive deeper and maybe in more detail while expanding on some of the topics covered in the books.

Does this mean you have to read the books to understand this blog?  Not at all.  I will never post something that requires prior knowledge of some sort.  From time to time I will refer to the book(s) if necessary to aid me in conveying an idea, but that's about it.

To be honest with you, you don't need to buy one of my books to get what I'm saying.  You can get the whole message just by reading my blog.  In my honest opinion, in most cases, books are for entertainment only.  There is very little knowledge that can only come from a book.  That's the truth.  You will buy my books not to get my whole message, but rather for the entertainment value.  I believe that most people love to spend their money and there are millions of book worms out there (myself included) who love to spend money on books (myself included).

What a weird guy no?  Yeah I'm talking about me.  I'm an odd ball, I'll admit it.

Anyway, I'm going to sign out for now, but I'll be back soon.  Until then, take care.